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07 agosto Out and aboutOkay, I just want to vent about something that has been bothering me. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, or if others are secretly having these issues as well and just don't say anything. I just don't want to sign my kids up for a million activities and cart them around everywhere. I just want them to enjoy the summer by playing outside...to just be kids. My reasons are these: no matter where I take them, they don't seem appreciative; one child is usually misbehaved while we are out (usually Marlena these days); they aren't asking to join Karate or Tae Kwon Do or Ballet or whatever. I do enjoy taking one child at a time places like grocery shopping and to other special little outings, however these don't happen every day. Am I the only one who doesn't relish the idea of being a taxi driver for my children? Do I owe my children special favors because I brought them into this world? I didn't get carted around like that when I was a kid....I just went outside and used my imagination and played. I hear from other parents these days how their child is in you-name-it class or is going somewhere or other and then my own kids ask to go to a big waterpark, or something equally extravagant. I feel guilty sometimes because I don't want to do these things. Should I? Maybe it's just not me...not "us". I just don't wanna keep up with the "Jones'es". 02 julio R.N.!!! I had to say that I passed. I passed! I'm a real nurse! I Registered Nurse. I'm so estatic and stunned. :-D Funny enough though, I have a class tomorrow at work all day on Intro to Arrhythmias. Now at least I can focus on cardiac stuff, and doing my job! 26 junio Less than one week........until the NCLEX!
I'm freaking out big time! For some reason, I really truly feel like my brain has not retained anything I learned in school and I will fail this. I've been studying and freaking, freaking and studying. A lot is riding on this one exam. For those of you that pray, please pray for me to have clarity of mind, calmness and optimal recall. :-) Thanks. 06 junio NCLEXI've registered. I'm taking it on July 1st, at 2pm. I am done with my job at UW as a Nursing Assistant and start my new job as a Graduate Nurse on Monday! How exciting. Myria spent the last 24 hours feeling sick and throwing up with a fever but now is eating cereal and feeling better, thank goodness! 02 junio UpdateGood things have been happening! I was very excited and privileged to be there to welcome my sister Missy's baby into the world after over 10 years of waiting. Very precious and an amazing thing!
I thought I'd update ya'll as to what is going on with this whole NCLEX thing. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE who sees me asks if I've scheduled the NCLEX yet. I can't schedule it until I get my Authorization to test, and I haven't received that yet. So I'm waiting for that and trying not to freak out while trying to make myself study for the darn thing. I start my new job on Monday and have only 2 more days of employment as a nursing assistant. Weird. I'm ready to move on, though!
We have not had internet access at our house for the last 4+ days so there is a tech guy from Charter coming to check it out in the morning. Until then, I'm at Borders checking my email and waiting for my classmate to arrive so that we can study for the NCLEX together. I figure as long as I had to pay extra for this access I might as well take advantage of it!
26 mayo Debriefing?Okay, I'm really starting to think that I'm going through a sort of "debriefing" now that school is done. My life is suddenly back to where it was before I was in school and me, Chris and the girls are not used to it being that way yet. The girls want my constant attention because they think that they might not get it for a long time. I still need to convince them that I will be here more often now, long term. None-the-less, I am still spending far bigger than average amounts of time with them, to convince them. I am feeling like everything I ever learned is somehow gone from my brain. I do need to review but I took a practice exam with 100 questions and did fine on it, so I hope that means that I'm still going to be okay. I NEED to pass that NCLEX. It's $200 every time I take it and if I don't pass the first time, my income with get cut in half! I need to pass. I'm getting gradually back into exercise. In the past 4 days, I've done a run/walk for 3 of them. It feels great! I'm actually looking forward to going out this evening. :-) But I still, at the base of things, need to relax. I am starting to relax in degrees. I'm helping out around the house, and that's a good thing. That's about it right now. I'm glad the nicer weather is here. 13 mayo School.....is.......DONE?I finished the second of two exams and I'm done with my preceptorship, so I think it means I'm done with school. It feels weird! I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something, or need to get something done, or need to be somewhere ASAP. The pinning ceremony is Friday evening, and I have vacation this week and I intend to just relax for the next few days, when I can keep from doing housework. ;-) 20 abril Preceptorship, Employment and other stuffWhere to start? So much has happened in the last month. I've done 6 out of the 9 days of my preceptorship, which was on the postpartum unit. St. Mary's as it turns out is one of the few hospitals to still have a seperate postpartum unit from birthing. I was disappointed about that when I found out, but thought I'd see anyway if this was something I could be interested in, as it's pretty darn close to birthing. As it turns out, it's predictable and boring. I like the babies and working with the new moms but I still haven't had my own patient and I'm feeling alternately like it's just out of my "scope of practice" for me not to be comfortable in it, and that I'm bored. It's a weird combination. I'm worried about not passing, but as others say, I shouldn't.
My finals are May 12th, and after that assuming I pass, I'll be done with school. Indefinitely. I'm very burnt out, not feeling like "cracking down" and studying anymore. I keep telling myself and Chris keeps telling me to hang in there....almost done. The end is in sight, there is a light at the end of the (very long) tunnel.
I'm looking forward to summer, relaxing without having to study constantly, and "just" working a normal job. Which will be stressful enough, as is! I accepted an offer for employment at Meriter Cardiac Telemetry Intermediate Care Unit, 32 hours a week on night shift. I feel very good about it (although as usual, I'm paranoid that something will happen and it will not go through for me). I did have an interview at St. Mary's but in the end cancelled it after accepting my position at Meriter, for a couple reasons. The first is that the Meriter position "feels right" for me. I enjoyed the interview with the manager of the unit, I already work on a telemetry unit, I'm comfortable with cardiac patients, I already work night shift so no adjustment is necessary. The second is that I found out that the interview was for St. Mary's in general and that they would extend an offer for a unit they felt suited the interviewee the best. I did hear from the postpartum nurses that they will not hire new grads in the birthing unit. They will hire them on postpartum but believe it or not, I'd rather work cardiac than postpartum! So that is a big relief to me to have the whole job search out of the way.
I'd better get crackin' the books and study for my Neuro exam tomorrow. 12 marzo Exciting update (school related)We just recently got our placements for preceptorship (where we spend approximately 72 hours one on one with a nurse). I found out I'm going to St. Mary's Birthing Center! I'm very excited and nervous at the same time. I've been wanting to spend time in this area for so long now and the fact of actually being able to spend any amount of time in that area makes me nervous for some reason. :-o
It also occured to me that all the other hospitals I would consider working at all have a much higher chance of me eventually getting to work in a birthing unit, considering UW was the only one with NO birthing unit. I may apply at St. Mary's now just on the chance I may be considered for a position there. 06 marzo Back to the drawing boardOkay for those of you who knew about my first nursing interview, I feel obliged to give an update. I found out today via voice mail that I did not get the job. The whole story is a bit complicated but after talking to a fellow classmate who also works at UW Hospital currently, things are becoming a bit more clear. There are three of us who work at UW and are in 4th semester at MATC. One student's mother also works at UW and knows the head of the department that she was applying for. Her mother put in a good word for her and she was hired the same day as her interview. The second of us works in pediatrics and was told that there would be a position saved for her. She applied, had the phone interview but was never even called for an in person interview. She talked to the head of the department who told her the positions were already filled. In my case, I had the phone interview, had the in person interview and then had to call them three times after which the message said that the interviewer felt that there must have been more qualified applicants. Now, I know that UW has been getting away from hiring ADN's and only wanting to hire BSN (4 year degree) and my classmates and I agree that that seems to be the overwhelming case here.
I've also realized that I'm "freaking out" so much about this because decisions in general don't come easy for me and this is a big deal. There are so many jobs out there...which is a great thing...but at the same time, how do I know what is best for me? I need to take a deep breath, relax and concentrate on passing school and boards. I would like to get a job by June though. Finances are tight and that would definitely help. 11 febrero A day at a timeFirst of all, YEAH! Congrats Missy and Matt on your little girl! I love girls, but then again I'm a bit biased. ;-)
Next, on to the saga that is my life right now. Like the title says, it's a day at a time for me with clinicals plus classes, exams, and work. There have been a couple exams that we are required to pass in order to successfully pass the semester classes and graduate and thankfully, I've done that. Whew! I've been in medical surgical clinicals for the last 4 weeks and it's now my last week in those. After this I'll be in Psych clinicals for 4 weeks and then on to Preceptorships. We've already been talked to about the pinning ceremony (the nursing equivalent of graduation) and plans for how we'll prepare for the NCLEX. I for one am not thinking about that right now because there's enough going on without it. But for what it's worth, the pinning ceremony is scheduled for May 16th I believe at 5 pm. There is so much at stake right now for me that it's too overwhelming if I think about it too long. And then when I think about working as a nurse if/when I get through all the hoops there are to jump through, that is still scary for me. It's a big responsibility and I've been told that you learn more in the first 6 months as a nurse than you do all through nursing school. That's scary too. I don't want to screw up when it really matters. :-o
Okay, I've got that out of my system for now. My spring break is mid-March and I have vacation from work that week as well so I'm planning on taking a break and going somewhere fun with my family. :-)
I finally have my car back which is nice, sortof. I've actually been enjoying driving the truck. ;-) Chris is good, the girls are good, and I'm actually starting to feel better after that long mystery illness I had. Not perfect but definitely getting better. :-)
Anyway, enough smilies for now. Better get to work.
09 enero Here we go!Okay, my first day of classes this semester is January 14th, which is Monday but for all intensive purposes it's started already, as I have two exams to study for. Looks like this semester is gearing up to be intense. I still haven't finished my applications for Meriter and UW Hospitals, but I'm in the process. I didn't anticipate all the work that would go into them. Professional recommendation letters (3), resumes, cover letters, official transcripts, online applications, special graduate nurse forms and unit preference forms.....and that's just what I can think of now.
On top of this, I'm feeling very frustrated at my brain, which seems to think it can forget everything at will. I really do need to get crackin' already.
The kids are back in school, which is good. :-)
Deeeep breaths. Only a bit over 4 months until this is all done! That will certainly motivate me to keep going. 31 diciembre Happy New Year!A new year. I really personally am hoping for good things this year. It'll be tough the first half, but it'll go fast. The next couple weeks will consist of me trying to relax between semesters. Near as I can tell (I haven't gotten my official grade reports back yet) I got AB's in my two online classes (90%) and an A for Advanced Nursing Skills. The clinicals were pass/fail and I passed, thank goodness. I had nightmares though that I failed a class and couldn't graduate in May. This was the toughest semester yet. I can't expain exactly why other than the fact that online classes are more work than in-person classes and I couldn't have anticipated that. They were hard classes and combined with night shift, growing children who need attention, homework, housework and a husband, and I'm over the top with responsibility. Full time nursing work will feel like "easy street" compared to this. However, next semester is more credits and clinicals all through the semester. Deep breaths. I'll get through it. I didn't think I could learn stick shift, and I'm doing fine at that. In the end, I'm learning to be confident of myself, and also how tough I really am, along with a huge dose of guilt, wondering how much I've screwed up my kids. 24 noviembre I feel a blog coming on...I felt this blog writing itself in my head on my way home from work this morning. After an eventful night at work, I was driving home in my husband's Dodge 1500 Stick-Shift truck, reflecting on some things. The first is simply about the truck. Now for those who may not know, I've been learning to drive stick shift out of necessity because my own vehicle is in need of $600 worth of repair that I simply cannot afford any time in the near future. Now, I hadn't driven stick shift since driver's ed and I'd _never_ driven a truck before. So the first week or two were totally nervewracking and I can honestly say I dreaded getting into that vehicle. BUT, I noticed this morning on my way home that I wasn't annoyed at getting stopped at every red light because of the worry about starting from a stop, or conking out, but because I just don't like red lights! I'm getting better at it. I'm by no means perfect, but someone else conked out in front of me twice at a red light and I just had to smile and wait behind them, knowing I did my share of that to others before I got the hang of it myself. But those were a couple reaaaally stressful weeks.
The other thing I was thinking about was after an experience I had at work. I had to float to a different unit than I usually work on last night. Now this is not so unusual in itself, but this is a combined ICU and Medical Surgical unit. There were many higher risk patients and I got to see some things that were new to me. One young person on the unit (in their twenties) had a major surgery and was recovering in an ICU bed. During the night, they went downhill, and needed to be coded (to you un-medical people, that means technically their heart stopped and they were no longer breathing....essentially dead.) The whole unit, many doctors, the code team and a surgical trauma team all swarmed the person and long story short, they are still living. I remember looking in the doorway when a nurse was doing compressions and it seemed so normal of a thing to this nurse. The nurse then continued on with their shift, doing the rest of their job. I overheard a few doctors and surgical nurses talking about the rest of their weekend like it was "just another day". To me, it was an amazing effort on the part of every person there. They worked together as a team and saved a life...for another day, week, year, decade, or lifetime. It really struck me how effortless it seemed...that someone could "get used to" saving someone's life. I'm in awe of that, I guess. Or at least highly respectful. It's really great to know there are people out there for which it comes second nature to do the best they can for someone. I can aspire to that.
And on that thought, I have been mulling over where I want to work when I'm done with school and have yet to make any decision at all. Basically, it's Meriter or UW Hospital. I _have_ decided I don't want to work anywhere but one of those. Meriter doesn't have the great benefits that UWHC has but they also have the biggest birthing units in Madison, with midwives working along side the doctors and nurses. I want to work there! But I don't think I'll be able to get a position on the birthing unit right away, as those positions all say they require previous nursing experience. I also don't think I'd get as much overall exposure to things as at UW. UWHC is a teaching hospital and I've already learned a lot from being an NA there. That said, do I want to "start easy" and work my way into the more invasive things, or just plunge right in and immerse myself? Now, having asked that, when have I ever taken the easy way of anything? Ha hahaa. It's not my style. I do enjoy a challenge, but after the second year of nursing school, I might be ready for a bit of a break. Sheesh, I'll be learning during my first year as a nurse, too.
Anyway, that's about it for now. Felt the urge to write something besides papers and nursing stuff. 11 noviembre Talking about ...sigh....
Quote ...sigh.... ...sigh....Well, what can I say? I'm exhausted, wondering if and how I'm ever going to get through the rest of nursing school. I am now spending hours and hours on paper work and study, just to complete assignments on time. My house is a constant mess (or for some reason every little thing is bothering me) and my temper is short and I'm cranky. Forget a day at a time, it's all I can do to get through every hour at a time. Minute by minute. Sigh...... 12 octubre Whew!Well, I can say unequivically, that this is _not_ the easy semester that I envisioned. My classes are harder, (I think they're trying to "weed out" the people who they think won't pass boards), I only got half the financial aid because my credits are 2 less, so I'm almost drowning financially. I'm just hoping the people I owe money to understand. I was invited to join (and joined) the Phi Theta Kappy honor society (not a sorority) and now wondering if I'll be able to keep my GPA high enough to stay a member. I'll do my best! I'm done with skills and got a good grade in that class. My clinicals start in a couple weeks so that will make things busier as well.
Marlena is really enjoying head start, and it is good for her. She needed it, and her teachers say too, that she is benefitting from it. Myria is liking her new school better now and has made some friends. Rhiannon is taking Viola lessons and is in 5th grade orchestra. She's also a safety patrol officer, which is good for her too. She gets to wear a little vest and corralle the younger kids.
Chris and I have colds that the kids gave us, which makes us both sleepy.
We got a new cat that was a stray, but she's beautiful. We named her Willow. The vet said she is not spayed and not microchipped and there's no listings for her on craig's list or the newspaper or around the neighborhood. Kiara is having a hard time adjusting to not being the only cat, but she'll come around.
Missy, Happy Birthday! I'm sorry I didn't call or send you anything. I thought about you that day. 24 agosto ChangesWell, the summer is about over already! We're settling into our new place quite nicely, and the overall mood here has vastly improved. This is such a relief for all of us! There's more room for us to move around without being in each other's hair constantly. I've been sleeping better during the day, as my room is at the end of the hallway, away from where the kids play. There is better airflow throughout the many windows here, so even though there is no air conditioner, it's still more comfortable in here. I've been enjoying our washer and dryer immensely, as has Chris. I think even the girls have too, as now they can ask for something to be washed...whenever! The basement is nice for the pets and for the girls to have a place to play. I've been enjoying having a shower in my own room. I can wake up and shower without encountering people coming into and out of the bathroom constantly. :-) What a luxury. :-D The nice big park behind our place is nice, too. The girls can go there to play when they want to and we can see them from our living room. Interestingly enough though, they really haven't been there that much. They've been enjoying hanging around here. For some reason, cleaning this place isn't as overwhelming or a burden as the old place. Cleaning that place felt like shoveling during a snow storm. Cleaning a bigger place is actually easier, because things are spread out more and perhaps the better mood helps as well. When you like a place, you take more time and pride in cleaning it up. My summer school class, Sociology, went well and I enjoyed it and did well. I'm starting school again this coming Monday, and have an exam in Tuesday! But it's a math exam and I've done some practice problems and it shouldn't be a problem. School for the girls is an interesting thing. We got a call that they have room at Bird school now, and Rhiannon was very upset about not going to Westside with all her friends. So long story short, Rhiannon's going to Westside, (provided there's a bus available to take her there) and Myria's going to Bird. And.......drum roll please....I just received a call today that Marlena's name came up for Head start! She's going to head start this year! I'm very excited about this because I was working hard on finding a preschool that would be financially doable for us and was not having any luck. Myria had such a good experience with Head Start that I thought Marlena would be so benefitted from it as well. I think it will motivate her to learn and adapt to proper behaviour during school. She needs preschool the most out of the three girls, I feel. This is a very good thing for her, and will also benefit us as parents as well, because it will give us 4 mornings a week (about 4 hours each day) that all three girls will be gone. We will have time to ourselves! So things have changed for the better. I'm so glad and thankful. 17 junio 843 square feetI wanted to find out exactly how many feet we've been living in. I've gone into other apartments in this complex that we live in and the others all have extra closets and a few extra feet in the bedrooms. The ad in the paper when we moved in said 970 square feet plus the patio and yards, so I wanted to measure. So after measuring, and being generous with measurements and including walls and closets and cupboards and everything, I came up with 843 square feet. 6 years, 5 kids numerous pets...843 square feet. That's not a lot of space. And then I wondered why even I was getting a bit cramped. And the kids were getting cramped. But we made it work...for 6 years. It's been cozy. ;-) The new place is going to seem pretty big in comparison. We'll be able to breathe! The advertisement for the new place says 1150 square feet, which doesn't include the basement. The basement! With washer dryer hookups! Can you tell I'm excited? :-D |
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